2.8: You mean if

f you don't like spoilers, don't click that thing until after reading the story further down, heh  

Previously: 







Story:

,,He’s depressed.”
For a moment Kaisa was not sure to whom Annie was referring. They were leaning against the fence of the stallions’ pasture and Kaisa squinted and sent her boss a questioning look.
,,Andy?”
There was the hint of a tightening at Annie’s lips at that question.
,,Maybe him as well,” she replied and swiftly moved on. ,,But I was talking about Sagadir.”
Kaisa’s gaze swept back across the green pasture. Karn Evil was prancing about in a display of youthful vitality, but Sagadir stood silent with his head looming low; pinning his ears every time the younger stallion moved close. It was very unlike Sagadir indeed – he was a loud, fiery horse; always eager to show himself off to humans and other horses alike.
,,He’s moody. He doesn’t eat up. The vet Helge has found no physical explanation for any of it.” Annie elaborated. ,,Yet he’s clearly beside himself. Just look at him –“ and she made a sweeping gesture at the grey stallion. ,,..I think the answer is obvious – first he lost Connor, then he lost Andy. That horse is depressed.”
Kaisa nodded quietly.
,,-..and he’s bored as well. He’s a horse that needs to be constantly challenged – I think he’s getting tired of trail rides.”
,,I have noticed that,” Kaisa said. Since she had been put in charge of Sagadir the stallion’s exercise routine has consisted merely of basic flatwork and trail rides – no challenge for a horse who was on the verge of his grand prix debut at only 9 years. Alas, dressage had never interested Kaisa, and thus her knowledge of such training was limited at best.
,,It’s a shame such a talented horse goes to waste,” Annie continued.
,,This is temporary.” Kaisa countered.
When Andy was declared clear and able to return, things would get better… right?

Annie remained silent as if about to spring bad news. For some reason this silence made Kaisa’s skin crawl. What was Annie plotting? Her mind was a closed-off section these days, it seemed.
,,I have looked into the prospect of selling him,” Annie finally revealed. Quiet words, but to Kaisa it was as if a bomb had detonated.
,,You can’t sell him!” she objected loudly. ,,It’s Andy’s favourite horse; are you out of your mind?!”
,,You think I don’t know that?” Annie said, her voice still eerily quiet. ,,But he’s my horse too; I own half of him. And as much as I hate the thought there are other things I need to consider.”
At this point her lip was starting to quiver and Kaisa waited – what was this about? She had never seen her boss on the verge of tears before.
,,We’ve always done well at Zdarloch,” Annie began. ,,But we’re a small establishment, Kaisa – it doesn’t leave a very big error margin.” She paused for a few seconds as she weighed out her words carefully. ,,Zdrasti is out with a permanent injury. Sagadir is out because he has no rider. Kvantespring was a hope, but now you dare not jump anymore; so for now she’s out of that game too. Karn Evil is too young to compete. You see where it leads us? Phuong and Hilas cannot sustain this menagerie alone, however successful they may be. Hold it up against the cost of running this establishment: fees, feed, upkeep, mortgage payments… these additional vet bills that are piling up. That… thing Azaria discovered about the indoor arena yesterday; an extensive repair of the expensive kind. The arena needs to be gouged from the inside; new foundation, repairing the wall, new barriers, new footing… I can’t see an end to all of this, Kaisa. It keeps piling up. Sagadir is worth more than the property itself - Hell, he’s worth more than what Andy and I make in 5 years. Selling him would save us from the current threat of impending bankruptcy. Buy us the time we needed to get things under control again…”
Kaisa huffed.
,,Just how impending is this?” she asked, trying to keep her voice still. ,,Because selling him also seems like impending bankruptcy, although on the long term – he’s the flagship of Zdarloch Stables. And Andy –“
,,Kaisa, don’t you get it?!” Annie cut her off. ,,When Andy dies there’s not gonna be a Zdarloch Stables!”
The horses in the paddock pricked their ears and Annie realized she had raised her voice. She focused her gaze on a patch of grass near the fence and breathed deeply.
,,It pains me, Kaisa. I can’t stand the thought. But I need to prepare myself – prepare all of us – for the worst. I’m just a nurse on a nurse’s income. I can’t run this place on my own – and I can’t risk putting myself into an impossible debt because I clung to an impossible hope that everything would turn out alright. I need to think of my family.”
Silence. Once again Kaisa had the impression that there was something Annie was keeping secret. Something else weighing her down.
,,You mean if,” Kaisa said quietly after a while.
,,What?”
,,You said ‘when Andy dies’. You mean IF Andy dies.”
Annie kept her gaze fixed on the tuft of grass.
,,No, Kaisa. I mean ‘when’.” A heavy sigh. ,,You don’t see him every day like I do. He’s but a shadow of himself; each day a bit worse. And I feel awful for thinking this, but there are days where I wished he would just hurry up and die already, because I hate seeing him suffer. It’s like watching the slow, steady burn-out of a fire.”
,,Annie –“
,,You don’t have to answer that, Kaisa. I know discussing thoughts and feelings isn’t easy for you. And what am I even saying; of course I don't mean it...”
Bless you, Annie, Kaisa thought to herself. She understood.
,,Hang on to the impossible hope a bit longer, please,” Kaisa said flatly. ,,You can’t run Zdarloch on your own, no – but you are not alone. You’ve got me, Phuong and Azaria to back you. Even if the worst thing happens we can figure this out.”
,,I appreciate it, Kaisa, I really do. But moral support won’t solve the monetary issue…”
,,Ask for help – Goldenzymes has been our sponsor for years,”
,,They sponsored Connor, his ‘brand’ and us by that extension.” Annie stated. ,,And Connor will never ride again. Why on earth would his family keep sponsoring us, then? And I honestly don’t think now is the time to go asking them for money; right in the middle of this tragedy.”
Kaisa’s eyebrows furrowed slightly over the hook of her nose.
,,They are decent people, though. They wouldn’t just cut the cord like that –“
,,They are business people. They do what they need to do if it profits them. As we all do.” Annie rubbed her forehead with an ironic smile. ,,Should have let them buy a sharehold in Sagadir when they offered it.” she muttered. ,,Then they would’ve had no choice but to stay involved.”
Kaisa decided to change the subject.
,,So I can’t jump anymore… at the moment anyway. What if I gave dressage with Sagadir a shot instead? I mean a REAL shot?”
Annie squinted her eyes skeptically.
,,You hate dressage. You’re also bad at it.”
Ouch.
,,I know I could train for a lifetime and not reach Connor to his ankles,” Kaisa said. ,,I know I can’t compete this horse on the level he deserves. But to help earn money to keep this joint running I could start entering small shows with basic tests and maybe –“
,,So you want to be a dressage rider now?”
,,I want to help, Annie!” Kaisa implored. It was not often she spoke with emotion in her voice, but she hoped Annie would sense her sincerity. ,,Please give me a chance to try. At least try. I’d take lessons, go to clinics, anything to jus–“
,,And who would pay for all that?”
,,I would. Out of my own pocket. I can’t sit by and do nothing. I owe it to you and everyone else to at least try.”
Annie pondered the thought. Then she nodded.
,,Alright. I’ll give you a trial period lasting this summer,” she said. ,,Then we’ll re-evaluate. Perhaps our situation will be different by then.”
,,Thank you, Annie,” Kaisa sighed with relief. ,,I hope I won’t disappoint you.”
,,You never have.”
They stood in silence for a while. Kaisa appreciated the irony of the situation: that she, notorious for her reckless style and lack of interest in dressage, was now about to attempt to switch discipline… because she dared not jump anymore. Three weeks ago she would have laughed at the notion.
But such were the ironies of life at time – Annie too had switched discipline once, so to speak. She had made the jump from professional show jumper to full-time trauma nurse several years back with the intention of getting ‘back in the sport’ eventually... An 'eventually' that never came. Kaisa sent her boss a sideways glance.
,,What about you, Annie?” she ventured. ,,Have you thought about maybe holding training clinics? Or about getting back in the sport and personally train Kvante?”
,,I have. I'm also certain that's not a good idea… at the moment.”
,,Why not?”
Annie still held that ironic smile. It would have appeared out of place for the situation were it not for the hard edge it held – this was not a happy smile.
,,That’s… another thing I haven’t told Andy... yet.” she said.
,,What? Are you sick?” Kaisa thought back on what Annie had said yesterday. 'A flu', she had claimed… A flu passed quickly and should not prevent her from getting back in the sport…
,,Not sick, no,” Annie said cryptically. ,,But I suppose you could call it a 'health issue'. It should have been great news, but the timing is just… wrong.”
It took Kaisa an embarrassing few seconds to realize what her boss was saying – or rather, not saying.
,,Damn,” she blurted out. ,,I mean, oh uhm… congrats! How far—“
,,I said nothing,” Annie cut her off.
Kaisa understood.
,,Right... I heard nothing.”




To be continued ~
Next: 2.9: Harder than it looks

:')
Things keep doing the tangle-up thing around here, it seems.
Poor Annie is always the one to bring bad news.. I swear she's not usually the total killjoy she has been in my storyline so far :'D   She's just managing and maneuvering through a pretty sucky/tricky situation. 
Also PLOT TWIIIIST  Whoever thought Kaisa would take THAT leap? :')  We'll... see how that goes, lol.





Kaisa and Annie reside with meee
So do ZS Sagadir and ZS Karn Evil
Own grass texture
Wood texture (fence) from cgtextures
Foliage brushes: Environment-Brushes | Foliage Brush Set 
No ref